Alcaro,

Name: Bree Alcaro

Artist Statement: Through out the first quarter, it took me close to three weeks to get some type of idea about what I would want a painting or artwork to look like. I began looking at butterflies, animals and flowers that had a type of gothic script or swirl as a design pattern. Anything with butterflies instantly reminds me of my great grandmother. Growing up, everything about her, her home, and decor was just beautiful. Most of her decor was butterflies.

Part of my art project actually came from getting a tattoo. I wanted something for my grandmother, I got a butterfly with pointed edge wings. The week I got my tattoo I was inspired enough to start my painting. I always saw butterflies as a sign of good luck and beauty. There's something so natural and inspiring about the coloring and pattern inside the wings that inspired me to make my own. I designed a butterfly in my art book before finally moving on to an actual painting.

In order to further explore nature in beauty, my next piece of work will be flowers with birds, or something that shows nature in it's natural beauty. Most flowers found in stores are dyed, and changed to fit the human minds value of beauty. I want to show nature as it was intended to be which would be naturally colors, and a natural setting. Nature and animals are my passion, and that shows in my artwork.



Below you can find my poems. For the Final 2 semesters my poems will be my art projects. The last few months my love life has been up and done. I have my heart broken and fixed all within a thirty day period. I struggle with body and acceptance issues. I never feel god enough and you can tell from my poems.

Writing is something I turn to every time I hurt, cry, or feel like I want to give up. It works the best when I can just sit and belt out what I'm feeling because paper can't judge you. Words speak pretty loud but the fact I can finally put them on paper and not be afraid of my issues is a huge step for me.

__**Angels 12-22-09**__ Her hearts on the floor. She’ll try to pick it up, but her body trembles. Her eyes are filled with tears. With each one that falls, a memory of you is erased. Be strong young angel, spread your wings.

Her smiles hidden behind a darkened face. The sound of the clock repeats in her brain. It’s like before he left, he placed a cassette tape in her brain. She tries to move on but it whispers “ Your not strong enough” Be strong young angel, spread your wings.

You left her breathless, life less, love less. She’s wandering around in an empty vessal. She’s stuck, trapped in a never ending nightmare. She run’s away, your voice finds her. Another voice whispers. Be strong young angel, spread your wings.

This never ends, it’s a routine. She wakes up, gets dressed, feels like crawling again. She’s bruised but not broken. You weren’t as strong as you thought. Your haunting her, calling her. Sadly she listens. Your voice was heroine, and she was hooked. Be strong young angel, Spread your wings.

Soon enough, she’ll be whole again. When your voice whispers, it’ll be too low for her to hear. She’ll continue to hear my voice gently whispering Be strong young angel, spread your wings.

__**Game over 1-26-10**__ For those who may or may not know, my dad and I never see eye to eye on anything. So this is about him

Here you go again, another bribe. Trying to by my love, makes you look foolish. Worst of all, you can't even buy me something that fits me. Not a big deal, I'm team Jacob, and you buy me Edward stuff. You don't know me.

Let's try again. You called me late last night. Same shit, different day. "Hey baby it's daddy just calling to check in on you" No your not, your just calling to be nosy. I was sick for three days, you didn't even ask why I didn't come see you. You don't care.

I exist, but to you I feel invisible. You know about Steve. You even know his favorite color. What do you know about me? Nothing, you DON"T know me.

Sunday rolls around. My day to see you, I try to bail. It's too late your already on your way to come and get me I'm stuck in the car with you.

You compare me to him. We are different people. I don't steal and lie to and from you and mom. Believe it or not, I love you.

I'm tired of giving you chances. This is your last try, one screw up, & it's GAME OVER.


 * __2-4-10 Loving you.__**

One month, 30 days. I cried for 25. I got you back around 26. I've been smiling ever since.

Your back, please don't leave. Last time you left, you took all of me. Please don't leave me.

I can't fall apart again. It's amazing how you, One person! had the ability to break me, then had the ability to put me back together.

You make me happy. The past is the past. We forgave, and were forgetting. It doesn't matter. Every tear I cried just lead me back to you.

You are incredible. From the way you look at me, to your smile. I love it all. I love you.

You can't imagine how it feels. Every time I look in your eyes, I can't help but get lost. You, are what keeps me going.

One month,30 days. Couldnt eat, couldn't sleep. It's a miracle I didn't stop breathing. It played out like a dream.

One aim message, one text, one call, one night. I was walking to meet you in freezing weather. The best part about it? All I felt was your warmth. I have you back, and trust me babe, I'm not letting you go.

Beautiful, I want to feel it & think of it. Ugly, huge, I know it. The mirror reflects a image, I can't really tell if it's me. Sometimes it's pretty & petite, sometimes it's huge, but it's me.
 * __3-4-10 Beautiful__**

Distorted & tourtured. What I think when I look into a mirror. Mirrors? I hate them. Why? I don't want to look at myself.

He loves me. Why? I'm not beautiful, confident, what he deserves. I'm a mess and a wreck. I hate dresses, I hate my bodyl

I only feel good about myself, when he's around. I can't even stand to look at myself. I started as a 17, now a size 5 am I good enough yet? Nope. Never will I be good enough. In my eyes, I won't be good enough until I'm perfectly small.

Treadmill, dieting, walking, running. I try it all, to feel good, to feel small. Nothing is too small. Aneroxia, Belimia, My therapist is worried. But I won't let it come to that.

Besides, what's the price to pay for beauty anyway.


 * __3-15-10 lately__**

I don't think you know what you do to me. Lost for words, can't think can't speak. Your beautiful to me, always have been, always will be. I'm here to cater to you babe.

I love you more then words in this poem can express. You always tell me I'm beautiful when I look a mess. You make life a fairy tale, & lately, your all I've been writing about.

Lately, your the reason I smile. Lately, your all I can dream of. Lately, I've been finding security in your eyes. Lately, I've been wanting a future with you.

Your perfect, don't tell me other wise. The past is the past, and lately, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I'm with you.

Lately, I've been listening to love songs. Crying, smiling, laughing. Because lately, I've been letting my real feelings shine through.

Pefection, I see it everytime I look at you. Lately, I've been wanting to spend every waking moment with you. Lately, I've been thinking, am I going crazy? Every second, of every day, I thank god I'm your baby.

Lately, I've been constantly calling you baby. Lately, I've realized, I am nothing without you. Lately, It's official...I found my soul mate.

__**3/19/10 Untitled**__ How can you always know the right thing to say? It seems like you know everything will be okay. How do you make me smile when I always want to cry? You can tell what I'm feeling by just looking into my eyes. How do you find the truth, hidden in my lies? It's like you knowing I'm lying when I'm telling you I'm fine. How do you manage to stay permanently by my side? I know sometimes I am difficult but you tell me that it's fine. How do you stay so full of hope? When my big moment comes, I'm afraid I'll choke. How do you know, everything that you do? You have all the answers, and never let me down whenever I see you. How do you love, a girl like me? That answer I do not have, it will remain a mystery.

Laying in bed, world shut out, and headphones in. It's funny, how every song reminds me of you. Each line, each verse, each word, relates, reminds, and converses you. Lines about falling in love, make me want to call you. I hope you know, every song reminds me of you. All I want, is to spend every minuet of every day with you. Laying in bed, Ipod in hand. God I'm so lucky to call you my man. Songs about love, marriage, and together forever, make my heart tremor. Every song reminds me of you.
 * //__3/19/10 Every song Reminds me of you__//**

Did you ever get that feeling? The one that whispers " Your not good enough"? And it eats at you. It sits on your mind and keeps telling you, your worthless. Feening for perfection. Truth? I feel perfect with you. The moment you leave, and I'm in school, I'm no longer good enough. Look into my eyes, and tell me what you see? Do you see all of my insecurities? I don't ever think I'm good enough. Let alone good. Look at me. What do you see? Do you the see the labels my own mind is constantly placing on me. Never will I be good enough.
 * //__3/19/10 Good enough__//**

Dear Self, remember me? The part of your brain that tells you whats right from wrong? Well, lately, the way you think of yourself, is bad for your health. I know your hungry. I know you would much rather have a milky way then a granola. Your tiny, get over it. You can eat whatever you want. But you can. You excerise at least three or more days a week. You need a whole new summer wardrobe. Look at yourself through some one elses eyes. See what we see. Your small, compact, and all around tiny. Your hurting, your hungry. I can tell I am your body. I do know you the best. I am not. I know you. I know how badly you want to be smaller. How badly you strive for perfection. Eventually, you need to stop. He loves you and your body, maybe you should too. Your wearing the bahthing suites you never dreamed of. You were 200 lbs! You've lost close to 80 Except and imbrace yourself, I do and I love it. Exactly, I see you inside and out. Look into my eyes, your soul. You are beautiful.
 * __//3/19/10 Dear self//__**
 * I can't*
 * I'm not, I'm falling*
 * Your lying*
 * Not good enough*
 * You are myself*

It's been forever, since I've seen your face. I miss you. It's been five years without you here. I miss you. Every holiday without you is another burn I have to take. I miss you. You used to make holidays feel soo alive. I miss you. They don't talk about you. They refuse to. I miss you. I don't like it at Grandmas anymore, it doesn't feel alive anymore. I miss you. What's it like it heaven? I miss you. Your chair is my favorite place in the world. I miss you. I keep you in my heart. I miss you. I miss your smile. I mis s your cookies. I miss your warmth. I miss your hugs. I miss how adorable you were. I miss you hiding chocolate. I miss your life lessons. But most of all, I MISS you.
 * __3/23/10__**

When I first met you I was little hesitant about letting someone get this close to me again because I swore to myself. I will never let someone hurt me in that way again. You have become more than someone I knew you seem to care so deeply for the person who lives within me. You made me that I am wanted and needed too, in ways no one else has. I never thought it would be possible for me to want to Love someone again as deeply as I want to love you. I have never felt so close to anyone as I do to you when we find someone who truly loves the person who lives within us. There is no greater gift than that.
 * 4/5/09**

__4/6/09: Written on April 21, 2008__  Butterflies take over my thoughts removing the sadness within. I turn to the photo to let out a sigh, even my heart must cry. A smile for the girl out of reach as I peer into the sky.

Soaked with tears from the moonlit sky, I'll softly sing her song. I'll embrace her warmth from this place from deep within. I'll smile for the girl that's out of reach as I peer into the vivid blue sky.

Some say it's a miracle that I just keep on living, but I simply say it's her that makes me keep going. Her memories are all around me embracing my heart, and for me that's all I need.

I know she's watching, even listening down, wishing and kissing the world won't frown. I turn to her photo and let out a sigh, turn to the sky and smile, smile for the girl out of reach.

They say love can kill or simply make your world but for me it's neither when I'm all alone, smiling for the girl that's out of reach.

Realizing after each moment that past I love you more than the last second that past After each first kiss to the last After each grip our hands claps I love you more than the last minute that past After each hug we stand After each time you say I love you so much I love you more than the last hour that past Realizing I love you more than yesterday After we kiss good night To see each other another day To love each other forever more Until life gets better From the past & present onto the future.
 * __Realizing 4/9/10__**


 * __My own SKIN 4/9/10__**

Insecurity. I'm my own worst enemy It's myself who I judge, Nobody seems to understand, But against myself I have a huge grudge.

I hate people telling me, That I'm pretty

They won't understand, Why I feel this way, But how can I tell them, I no longer want to stay?

How can I tell them, It's myself who I hate, That for some reason, I'm suffering from this stupid twist of fate.

I feel like I don't belong, But they won't understand, I feel more comfortable, When I am on my own, Yet,I hate to be alone?

I'm tired of hearing, My own voice..

I'm in a situation, I don't want to be in, I'm lost and insecure, In my own skin.

No time for games, this is it. I'm falling quickly, victim to this. Your like a drug, impossible to quit. Every time I see you, it's a new injection.
 * 5/16/10 **

Stop telling me how you feel, I'm afraid I'll wake up and this will all be a dream. My self confidence is dwindling, how could you love some one like me? Tell me why I feel so down? You tell me I'm beautiful yet I put myself down.

No time for games, this is it. I'm falling quickly, victim to this. My own down fall, will be my worst enemy.

Hey there beautiful girl. Whip those wet eyes dry. Stop looking in a mirror, and let your feelings be your guide. Stop telling yourself your fat, and that you don't deserve to be loved. If you saw yourself the way that I did, you would understand.
 * 4.16.10 Hey there BEAUTIFUL girl **

Hey there beautiful girl. Put some color into that dark closet. If you feel bad about your body, give a happy thought to stop it. Your smaller, smaller then you may think. Stop looking in the mirror, and finding things to change.

Your eyes are more then just shit brown. Your face is so much prettier, without that solemn frown. Your waist is curved and shaped, you wear clothes that fit. I don't understand why your fixated on perfection.

Hey there beautiful girl. Many people love you. Your boyfriend thinks your beyond beautiful, and people compliment you constantly. Love yourself, as I do. Perfection is a dream, but remember, dreams aren't always as they seem.

Hey there beautiful girl, Let me be your guide.


 * 4/16/10 You **

My icy cold fingers reach to find your warmth. I place my head on your chest, and I never want to leave. You have no clue what you mean to me. The silence we hear, is as strong as the love I feel, just being with you. The silence says more then I could have ever believed. I was never a princess type, didn't believe in fairy tales. Some how, I became the damsal in distress. You saved me, not from harm, but from myself.

You loved me, even though I didn't even know if I loved myself. You kept me warm, on the nights I felt so frozen. You listened on the nights, when I needed you the most. You whispered I love you, when it was less expected. You made me fall, harder then I ever could of though.

You told me I was beautiful when I though of myself as a mess. You held my hand and guided me when I felt like I was blind. You opened my eyes to love.

Once upon a fairy tale Was a girl we all know well A princess only dreaming of The hope of finding her true love
 * 4/29/10 **

She searched the land but couldn't find The true love that she had in mind She tried to find him everyday Till her hopes all washed away

She sat upon her empty throne Thinking that she'd be alone Everything in life felt wrong Until one day he came along

Prince Charming was this prince's name And her lover he became She finally found her one true love The one that she'd been dreaming of

Finally everything felt alright She had a prince to hold each night Someone to sit by on her throne No longer was this girl alone

But then on one awful day He found Snow White and went away On a horse they waved goodbye This princess was left to cry

She knew she'd have to live without The prince she cared so much about Goodbye to love and all the laughter Goodbye to happy ever after

 ** 4/29/10 **

I'm on cloud nine hating myself for not being able to find any words I'm spinning around you would think it would be easier to find something to say I'm opening up finally your nervous laugh is making me blush I'm so happy right now flying up so high, thinking I'm getting way too high I'm on cloud nine waiting to fall off

I'm on cloud nine building castles with princes in the sand I'm shining light everywhere I go I look for you I'm smiling at you can you see me out of the corner of your eye? I'm waiting for you butterflies invading my happy place again I'm on cloud nine waiting to fall off

I'm on cloud nine your way to close to me, I can't take a breath I'm laughing to loud everything you say making my heart skip a beat I'm losing my courage but even the silence is making me smile I'm lost in thought letting my mind run away with all these things I'm on cloud nine and I hope I never fall off

I thought of you today But thats nothing new I thought about you yesterday and the day before that too for every day good or bad you'll always be in my head I hope you've understood everything iv said This isn't just a joke or a silly lie Id never do anything to make you wanna cry I'm sorry if i do something to make you really mad It only comes back and makes me really sad I really do love you and everything you are I hope this relationship gets really far Ill never get you out i simply don't know how In fact I'm thinking of you right about now Your everything i need and everything to me You know exactly who you are and what you want to be You always make me smile just by being there I hope you know how much i really do care Every time i think of you my stomach seems to twist This is why i love you, Ive made a huge list The list goes on forever and never will it end Neither will our relationship you'll aways be my friend not just a simple friend but a special friend at that I want to spend my whole life with you I honestly love you I hope you love me too This isn't just a stupid game I really hope you feel the same Because today tomorrow my whole life through I will never stop loving you
 * __//5/13/10//__**

 Love is not an obsession. Its real and not something you want or need. When you love someone you have a deep connection, And you can't let them go because it will kill you instantly.
 * //__5/13/10__//**

Love and obsession are two different things, One is precious and the other one is worthless. You can't run away from love, But you can run away from obsession.

Love is when you can't stand the person you love getting hurt, And sometimes obsession is about getting hurt. I'm trying to offend anyone, But that's why I think love and obsession are two very different things. Stuck in a ever ending nightmare. I'm looking in a mirror, and I do not like what I see. I need to get over it though, because no matter how much weight I lose, This person is me Stuck in a nightmare. A fat life style, it kills me.
 * //__5/13/10__//**

I want to be thin and pretty. He tells me I'm beautiful. but I don't believe it. Why do people lie to me, about my image? Why can't I feel the way I look in real life? What do I look like? Fat, Thin, Ugly, skinny? What am I? Who am I?